It’s been three days since I updated!
I am realizing that daily updates are not going to happen. This is a complete emotional roller coaster that is happening and everyday hits me with something new.
So this will be the last three days have been hard to say the least!
Wednesday I had an appointment to get clearance from my primary care doctor. Well it didn’t go as planned at all. I knew going in there was going to be some labs that will be off but I was sure the surgical team already knew them.
What I wasn’t expecting was to get an EKG and have the nurse look at it funny and walk out with it. Then have the doctor walk back in and immediately say well you have had a heart attack. This moment my world stopped. My head spinning my thoughts where not with me. Then she starts questioning me about heart related issues. I can’t even think honestly. She asked if I knew if I have ever had an EKG previously and I had called another hospital and had asked and I had one two years ago when I went in complaining of headache and chest pains. I pulled up that EKG result in my chart and showed her it to was abnormal. Nobody had ever said a word to me about it being abnormal they diagnosed me with long haul covid and sent me on my way.
So I am sitting there completely in a daze trying to function and it just wasn’t happening. She was upset that I didn’t come prepared to do labs fasting but the hospital had told me all the labs didn’t require fasting required. I just felt scolded and like I was a bad human at that point. Trying to take in all the info and still understand how at 39 I could have a heart attack. I remember her saying a something about my insurance wasn’t going to cover some of the test. But that was about it!
I walked out made it to the car and lost it! I was so emotional called my husband and told him and I think he was in the same shock as me. This was the last thing we thought was coming. I ended up calling my parents and they drove straight for me. They don’t want me driving anymore. They brought me home and wanted me to have a couple of days break from the littles so they took them.
I took the next day to go get lab work. When I get to the lab now 12 hours fasting. They don’t have the orders for the labs. I had all the paperwork from the surgeon and after some searching she actually found orders in the mess of paperwork so I was able to finish those without my doctors help there.
I made several calls letting my case manager know the findings of the EKG and trying to find out how they wanted me to handle getting in to seeing a cardiologist. She tried calling and requesting the paperwork from my doc office but they said they couldn’t send it to her. So I called my doc back and found out that I hadn’t signed enough paperwork to release records to the surgeon. I had to run there and sign the papers for my doctor to send the surgeons papers back to them. How ridiculous is that? I also had to sign more papers for me to be able to receive my own records.
The whole day I was worried about my babies. I was able to have lunch with my oldest and just chill. I was still in a complete daze it felt like ready to cry at the drop of a thought that I might have major heart problems on top of my spine.
I will say I am not sure if I am more upset that I have had a heart attack and never told or the fact that we may not be able to do surgery to start the process of healing from the amount of pain that I am currently in from my spine.
So currently the important dates in the coming month are:
April 12th Drive 2 hours to Hospital to get my Thoracic Spine CT
April 13th Drive 2 hours to Hospital to get my Thoracic Spine MRI & Cervical Spine MRI
April 23rd Video Visit with Surgeon for Preop for Surgery
May 2nd Check into Hotel by hospital and wait for the call for surgery time
May 3rd Surgery (hopefully no change)
The best thing of all was most of my labs came back normal accept a few things that we already assumed would be off.
I also did manage to get everything in order for the state taxes while the kids where gone. As we are being audited by the state and we only had 30 days to get the paperwork in. We are not in trouble by any means we just had to verify some information. But this has been a major stressor the last few weeks!
I couldn’t wait for the kiddos to come home yesterday! I hadn’t slept either of the two nights they where gone I missed their goodnight hugs and kisses and my little boy running in and hugging me a bringing me my morning drink and granola bar. I missed him hanging out with me in the morning! I missed sitting with my daughter and watching our favorite show (Good Doctor) in the evening. I haven’t been away from my kids overnight since I had went to Arizona a few years ago. I was still working then and was more used to spending time away. But since September 2023 I haven’t been away from my kiddos for even a few hours in a day.
Today has just been a day of working on client work and trying to keep myself busy. I did manage last night to do some drawing and it felt good to just turn off my brain and be creative and learn something new.
Okay that was a big update more soon!
Kindy Lynn
